Seeking Love

She runs away from the fatal image of being alone.
She's aware she has friends, she knows she is loved.
She doesn't need anybody to carry her.
She's independent, she's happy for who she is.

But sometimes when she's all alone, no movement, no one there,
Deep in thoughts, the music is playing, everything is still,
She feels the desire of knowing she can hold together the times she's alone,
But she doesnt want to think, for it only hurts her.

She wants to love, but doesnt expect love back,
She wants to have something to look forward to, get ready for, wait for, love for.
She wants to know what it feels like to love.
She wants to so desperately to love.

Past to Future

She lives in her past,
She doesn't want things of the past hold her back,
She just wants it to motivate her while she presses forward toward the future.

She looks back at the things she had,
She works to get those things back,
But she is never sure if they are worth it.

She's motivated, but sometimes doubtful,
She's held back, but forces her way ahead,
She wants the things she once had, but doesn't know if she should.

3 Years

Three years ago, I was an eight-grader, moving from my home, California, to an unknown land, Texas. I was scared, I was sad, I was insecure, I was a mess. I had moved to a place I did not know. It was like a foreign land, a different culture, a different world. Three years ago, I was caught up in my past, not letting it go to discover what lie ahead of me.
For months, I cried in my bed at night. I didnt let people in. I was constantly thinking of my home. I didnt let it go. I closed myself in.
I look back, and I have made life. I have made awesome friends. I have grown and matured so much. I have found out more about myself. I have two amazing jobs. I have settled into a wonderful life that I am happy to have and grateful to have.
Texas is surely different and something else in itself. The weather is crazy, the people are weird, but I think thats why I am here. I fit right in. I didnt know why God wanted me here at first, but now its clear. I am so grateful for all that He has blessed me with and will never take that for granted.

The American Dream

We all chase after our future, trying to find the pursuit of hapiness.
We all get dragged by our past, letting it change everything in our path ahead.
We all look for something to make things better, a change, and difference.
But the current goes against the boat, against our will.
But we head straight on forward, to our goals, to our wants.

I look at the people around me, I look at myself,
I see some with success, some with fortune,
I see some with loss, some with burdens.
I see them trying with every last breath to make a future, but I see what they thought was left behind creep in.
I look at the end, the conclusion of their future,
I don't see happiness.

I've come to realization beyond what has been before,
It's not about pursuing happiness or trying to earn fortune or success.
It's about finding joy, a happiness that lasts, a satisfaction that won't end.
It's about trying to do one's best, but not going beyond what one is capable of or handling.
It's about touching others, making use of something.

We all have a dream.
We all have an image in our heads of how things should be.
But I don't think it's about that picture we paint.
I believe it's how we live through things, how we act upon things, that creates and molds what it looks like in the end.
I believe it's about the foundation we stand upon that determines if our future will shatter or stand.

So don't chase after the satisfaction or the happiness.
Don't chase after the things that may look like they will give you happiness.
Chase after what will last.
Chase after meaning, not of things that were sparked from the past.

Here's To You.

For all the clueless, be more aware of who cares about you, you might end up having some great friends.
For all the lazy, answer your phones for once, you might end up having some fun, if you just answer it.
For all the angry, stop being so mad, you're only pushing away the people that care for you.
For all the depressed, stop being so mopey, nobody likes being around you when you're like that.
For all the oblivious, look around you, people want to be your friend and to care about you.
For all the self-centured, no one thinks you're as great as what you think you are, so maybe do some selfless acts every once in a while.
For all the over-doers, self explanatory, don't over-do it, it only hurts you and confuses others.

So here's to all the people who push away the ones the are loved by, way to go.

And They Leave

She says goodbye too many times,
It's never easy, it's never simple,
They always leave a piece of them in her heart,
She's faithful, but unknown,
It breaks her, it tears her apart,
It creates fear of others leaving,
Because she knows soon, they will leave too.

Living Up to Our Standards

We are always quick to judge, always quick to set standards for others,
but when things happen to us, do we live up to our standards?
Do we rise above the things that try to put us down?

The hardest thing is to find something positive about something that appears to be bad or is bad.
But we need to act upon something and not let something push us down.
We need to find a way to make something better, rather than let it get to us.

It's hard to distinguish between not caring what others think, and being rude to everyone because it just doesnt matter.
It matters. We need to place ourselves in others shoes.
But we can't let other peoples thoughts get to us.

We need to live up to our own standards,
but as humbled, selfless people.
We need to not look down on others, but encourage others.
We need to not give up on things, then we hit a wall.
We need to find another way around it,
Because if we don't how can life take us anywhere at all?