Cheers to Another Year

This year, I look back at how i was at the beginning of this year, and I look at me now. I first think about who I am, I've matured, I've grown, I've learned new things, but I have also not changed who I am.

At the beginning of the year, I was homeschooled. I was disappointed at people, but happy for how my life was, i didn't need any boys, nor had the desire to like them, I was a pleasant person to be around, my parents were my best friends, I was content for how my life was.

Now, my life is completely different, but as I said before, I don't think it changed who I am. I work at Chick Fil A now and I am also a nannny. Those two things have changed my life. They have made me super busy, but they have also helped me build relationships with people that now mean the world to me before. I babysit three girls, a 11 month old, and 8 year old, and a 10 year old. Those girls mean the world to me now. I love them as if they were my little sisters. The people I work with, I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am to have met them. They are amazing people. They have such great heart, they care about me, as I have been longing for so long to be cared for. They are loyal and such good friends to me. I am so glad I have found such great people, because they have built me up and made me once remember what it feels like to have such great friends. These two jobs also have taught me great responsibilty. They have molded me to become a young adult, they have matured me in ways many teenagers don't reach until their mid 20's. I have become a more matured person, and have been able to help others with the wisdom that God has given me.

I look back at this year, and the first thing I think is, wow, what a long year. But I also think, what a great year, I am thankful for all that God has blessed me with. I thought about if I have touched anybody's lives. The truth is, I'm not sure if I have or not, but I sure hope that people have seen the care I put onto them, the love I poor onto them, because what I strive to do more than anything, is to put others before me. I want people to feel cared for, to feel special, because I know that I would want them same done unto me. I look back at this year, and I see it as a learning year. I've learned that the people at my school, theyre not worth throwing all my emotions over. It doesnt mean I still love them and would care for them, but I know that thats not the right place for me. I've learned through that, that even though I may not see those people as my friends, I need to rise above, and still put them before me. Another thing I look back on is boys. Most people would say I have a problem in that area. Some would say a virtue. I'm now seventeen, and I've never had a boyfriend, which can usually be considered weird in this day and age. And even weirder, I havnt truly liked a boy in 2 years. I tend to run away from liking people, mainly because I have a fear of a broken heart. But maybe that a good thing for me right now. I don't have the time for that and I'm still young. I have the rest of my life for that. I have made a few good guy friends, and I couldnt be more happy to have them. They are amazing, and I think they are even more fun to talk to then girls about my thoughts at time.

I've grown to realization through this year, of who I am. I've learned that no one else can mold who I really am. And if so, then I'm fake. I've learned to be more independent. Like what I want to like, make my own choices, and not let anyone else make that decision for me. I've learned more of what I want to do when I'm older, and what interests me like in music, and that I like to draw, and just little stuff. I've learned to be truly content, and truly happy for what I have, and really look at the blessings that are given to me. Because if I don't learn to do that, I would be living a sad life. But I want to be living a happy life, so that I can make others happy. Because life isnt all about me. It's about the others around me.

I'm proud of this year, because I don't think I wasted it on unuseful things. I'm glad for who I am, and what I've done. I have no regrets. I'm happy to smile upon another year that I have lived. And even though a few years from now, I won't remember this exact year, I will know that I have become who I am from just living, just letting life teach me and build me to who I am to be, who God wants me to be.